Category: Work and play

I was late and had a train to catch. Because of the heavy rainstorm that night, by morning the subterranean walkway to the platform was flooded several centimeters high.

Nature was challenging me yet again with one of her creative obstacles.

In order not to miss the train and arrive at work on time, I had a difficult decision to make. My quick deductions narrowed down the choices to three possibilities:

• Turn around and go back up, take a longish detour and make a mad dash around to the opposite entrance to the train station which was still dry, taking five additional minutes.
• Take off my shoes, then my socks and roll up my pants, wading carefully though the water in my bare feet, which would take an extra minute.
• Take the dare, make a large leap and just run as fast as I could through the water hoping not to get too soaked, which would result in no delay at all.

Most of the older people had calmly positioned themselves to the side or were reclining on the stairs taking off shoes and socks, while the younger folks were making large leaps and just going for it. A couple people had turned around but were standing in mid-step, motionless with their backs to the water wondering if what they were doing was the right choice.

Being young at heart and not wanting to risk being late, I made two cautious steps backwards, ascending slightly, and not thinking I took the running leap.

This was risky business but invigorating at the same time. It reminded me of the good old days as a kid when running through puddles was so much fun. The great part is that while doing running through the water, you get to splash all of the carefully wading people and soak them anyway.

By the time I arrived in Amsterdam my feet were completely dry, but the adventure remains to this day fresh in my mind.

Too often one is so consumed by a jungle of intertwined thoughts that the beauty of the nearby surroundings is completely foresaken.

Having tried to solve an especially complicated problem for the last couple of days already, I needed an escape. I decided to take an extended lunch break this time by walking further than normal along the canals of Amsterdam. It didn't matter where as long as I stopped tackling that ornery mountain of code for a bit, return to normalcy.

View of the Keizersgracht where I work.

The walk was alright I guess, getting away from it all. When I crossed the last bridge on my return to the office, I was at once struck by a wonderful, serene scene of peaceful movements. The gentle splashing of the tourists in the paddle boat is what woke me. Right there in front of me and I had missed it completely when walking earlier the other way. I took this picture so that I would not forget the awe of that special moment.

Mo more than five seconds after I snapped this picture using my mobile phone, the answer to the problem came to me in a flash. Better get back quickly before I forget.

That's the building where I work in the distance on the left right about the middle of the photograph.

Also for the sake of completeness notice on the right of the picture the girl bicycling ever so swiftly going to who knows where.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover the following exciting email in my inbox this morning.

Good Day,

My name is Robert and I'm a recruiter at Axelon Services Corporation, formerly known as Algomod Technologies Corporation. Our records show that you are an experienced professional with experience in Computer Repair. This experience is relevant to one of my current openings.

It is located in SALINAS, CA.

Field Technician
Salinas, CA
5+ Month Contract

I'll have to think about it first before jumping too quickly at this opportunity that could change my life.

So I figured that I'd work from home today so I could concentrate better and be much more productive.

Woke up extra early to make a good start, enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee and typing away behind my good old laptop.

As it turns out, right across the street there's some @#$! idiot sawing wood with this high-pitched electrical saw the whole morning.

What a jerk. I hope he quits real soon before I get insane and attempt something desperate.

New job's coming along just fine. There's much new and interesting stuff to learn which keeps my old brain cells in shape. Being surrounded the whole day by psychologists in an academic environment takes a bit of getting used to though. Bridging the theoretical with real world technology is the name of the game, at least second to golf that is. Tomorrow morning early (7:50) I am off to shoot yet another course record.

That's how long it took from the moment I lost my previous job until I found another one. Sixty-two days of living on the dole, looking around and hoping that some day in the not so distant future I would be able to land something new and challenging.

Starting in Amsterdam, zig-zagging all over the Netherlands and even into a number of other European countries and then back to good old Amsterdam again. There's just something mysterious about that place that keeps calling me back.



I survived the ordeal by accepting the way things are, regaining control of my life, and remaining positive throughout the whole disappointing and very frustrating ordeal.

Considering how bad the economy is right now and the steadily rising unemployment rates worldwide, I feel very fortunate and am thankful to God for having sought me out and revealed to me this new opportunity in life.

Thanks alot God, maybe I can treat you to a nice lunch in Amsterdam someday soon, just the two of us?

"Seek out danger, tackle risks early before they come back to attack you, embrace change which is inevitable anyway, and don't forget about God."

I received this amazing job offer email in the morning, so you can imagine how excited I felt upon reading it:

Hello,
Wobbits Service is currently hiring for the position of Mailing Assistant. If you feel that you are a self-motivated and career-oriented person, we highly encourage you to spare a minute and learn more about our current openings.
Primary job requirements:

* Basic knowledge of the computer
* Ability to print and scan documents
* Knowledge of such programs as Adobe Acrobat Reader and Microsoft Office
* Ability to pick up packages weighing up to 30lbs.

I often complain about the second-rate quality of these recruitment agencies that spam me all day with their wonderful job matches, but this one definitely takes the cake!

Getting laid off is never easy, look at me, it's the third time in my long and unpredictable career. This time however it's seems much worse than the other times, and I'm bracing myself for a long haul. No matter what happens, I'm confident that things will eventually pick up at some point in the future. It always has. So I just need to hang in there until that happens, busying myself in a productive and useful way.

So let's take something negative and transform it into something positive, alright? Just like a snake that must shed it's skin every once in awhile in order to grow, this is an opportunity to shed the past, move forward and re-energize myself with something new. Look at all those computer books I've collected and never had time to learn. Pick a subject, any subject and dive in. Play around with the new technology, explore the many possibilities and become an expert.

I've decided to hone my Java skills and become a J2EE expert, and on the side maybe even learn some Python. It will take some time, but if there's one thing I have alot of lately, then that's time. Get involved in an open source project, attend various seminars and congresses, and even volunteer to help out at some stands passing out folders and talking to people.

Then when the future comes I will be better prepared. Who knows, maybe by doing all this learning stuff I will somehow influence the future, subconsciously attracting the perfect job with the perfect kind of work. Hey, I can't wait.

Getting laid off is never easy, but let's make the best of it. It might even end up being kind of fun.

Interviewers decide to accept or reject a candidate within the first 3 or 4 minutes of the interview. The remainder of the interview time is spent seeking evidence to confirm their first impression.

With that in mind I am going to be a little more careful but still act like who I am.

I thought it'd be a great idea: I would not shave my beard until I got a new job. So far I've been growing a nice grubby beard now for almost a week,

Unfortunately, I forgot that I have to attend interviews and look respectable and professional. Since tomorrow is my next (fourth) interview, that means off with the beard.

Oh well.

One of the advantages of being unemployed is that there is tons of time left over to read, workout at the gym and play golf.

Unfortunately, it's still way too cold out there to play golf, so I'm going to have to be patient and wait a bit.

Why couldn't I have lost my job later in the year when it is warmer?

Why is it that whenever I finally get invited for an interview that it is at a company that is so far away? Up to now I've had interviews at the following places:

• Hilversum (60 km)
• Veenendaal (70 km)
• Den Bosch (89 km)

Hopefully I can find a job which does not involve too long of a commute.

Speaking of leaders, isn't it kind of ironic that whenever a company has to lay off a bunch of people, none of the higher management loses their job and lots of valuable human capitol disappears forever, usually meaning the ship will sink even faster?

Last night I dreamed that I had the perfect job. Don't quite remember exactly what kind of job it was, but in the dream I felt really great. Guess that means there's still hope as long as I remain positive.

Checklist for success:

• Identify and attack the most important risks early on in the project before they come back and haunt you at the end of the project.
• According to Murphy's Law this is usually right before an important launch date when the customer is the most eager to see results.
• From the very beginning, keep an up to date risk list in order to track progress and ensure the success of the project.
• Along with each risk listed, include a plan for mitigating that risk.
• Order these risks according to importance, e.g. those risks which would have the biggest impact on the project should go first.
• A very simple Excel sheet with a few columns should suffice.
• This list serves as a focal point for planning project activities, and is the basis around which iterations are organized.
• As the project continues this list will change and if it doesn't be weary of impending danger.

This is truly an amazing achievement, so you better check it out for yourself. Something we can all be very proud of that's for sure.



TomTom Route Planner

The interesting challenge at the company at which I work is that everything depends on keeping pace with the latest the greatest technology.

Developing really great software products means that one has to sit down with other top notch software engineers and figure out how to roll up one's sleeves and just get the job done, no matter what.

The latest the greatest technology changes all the time, even as we speak, so one has to aim slightly ahead of the moving target.

Ever so slightly, take aim, one, two three, fire.

Who would have ever expected me to qualify as a multilingual callcenter agent? Imagine how pleased I felt receiving an anonymous email invitation to apply to this much coveted position, in Munich of all places. I think I'll pass this time around.

Just installed Ubuntu on my new laptop from work. Within a flash and without a single hitch. Never expected Linux to be so easy to install.

Starting next week I will be re-acclimating myself to the life of official commuter, traveling to and from Amsterdam on a daily basis.

Total travel time will be minimally: 2 x (10 minutes by bike + 42 minutes by train + 3 minutes by metro + 4 minutes by foot) = 118 minutes, not counting waiting and possible delays.

One of the advantages of sitting so long in the train as compared to sitting in the car in one of the daily traffic jams is that I can finally catch up on the huge backlog of books I have collected in the last couple of years.

We'll just have to wait and see how things turn out.

Who could have ever expected that within one week I would lose one job and find another?

Turns out there there is still hope out there, sometimes when you least expect it.

Putting up a smoke screen can be a useful and necessary tactic, as long as it conceals something worthwhile.

Trying to hide vacuousness and/or so-called importance per se is not what it is all about.

Face the facts, put up the smoke screen as required, and make sure that the hidden concept is something needed in the near future.

There is no use in pretending, because when all that smoke rises and dissipates the truth will be revealed anyway.

Revealed truth is something to be reckoned with no matter what.

In order to lead a team efficiently, you must win their respect. In order to win their respect, you need to understand the details of what they are doing. In order to understand the details of what they are doing, you need to communicate with them closely and listen to what they have to say.

Here is an amazingly interesting and challenging project of which I hope to be an important part and partake in the future success with joy and anticipation:

Euromax Terminal.

This is more than likely the next auto I plan to drive in. After work this evening I took another spin in it for the second time, and I believe that this is the right car for me.

Mazda 5

Whether or not you realize it just waiting on the platform behind me, that train just two tracks away from where you are sitting is barreling past at an unbelievable speed.

My initial estimate would be a slick two hundred kilometers per hour or so. The gush of wind first pushing me back and then sucking me back again attests to that fact.

All those kind folks enclosed within that speeding piece of metal have no idea of how fast they are speeding by, nor does a single passenger realize that on the platform there is this gray-haired observer trying to philosophize and think things up.

Everyone goes on with their own lives as if it all doesn't really matter, which is alright.

So what is the most optimal way to get from Gouda to Utrecht Terwijde and back again?

The first week at my new job has flown by at a truly amazing pace. Five days already? This new technology is going to prove to be an interesting intellectual challenge for me, I am sure. Being inquisitive by nature, I will pack my machete, enter the jungle and hack my way through the thick foliage, in search for an occasional treasure or two in the future. For now it is just the beginning, and I am happy enough just hacking around the surroundings at hand. Fortunately one is never too old to explore new areas and learn even more.

Like I have said before, it is (still) never too late to begin yet another new and challenging adventure in life.

(Seems like I have had my share lately)

That's why I am very excited about starting my new job next week. I can't wait.

A new technology, interesting colleagues and yet another area of knowledge to dive into, acquire and become an expert at.

Finally, this should prove to be a long term relationship to cherish, I am sure.

Well it was short but sweet, and now it is time to move on. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that should I not go for it I would regret for some time to come.

After a month and a half or so doing challenging work at Blinck International BV in Amsterdam as team leader of the developement team, I will be starting my new life at Pace Micro Technology in the UK as software architect for their research and development department.

Like I have said before, you are never too old to begin yet another adventure in life.

Don't forget that money isn't the whole story. In the end, you bring yourself (mind as well as body) along even if it is a new and challenging job. The attitude and inner-satisfaction is what it's all about.

If you are also looking around for an interesting challenge in life the chances are pretty good that you will find it here, not there.

Good luck and hang in there, me too.

Having extra free time over for myself during the holiday season is relaxing and nerve-racking at the same time. Preparing for the future is not easy, but the good news is that there are a number of interesting angles to pursue. As always.

I was just really curious how it's been going with my former team members. The future-famous development team versus reality.

So has the so-called 'real-world' been treating you guys alright? Tell me by commenting here if you feel inclined to do so. If not, then that's alright also.

Well it was fun while it lasted.

Too bad things had to end this way.

Now it is time to move on.

Every last Thursday of the month we have our company meeting followed by our evening out to some cafe nearby.

Escaping the stress of work and all those daily never-ending pursuits, this gathering always proves to be a fine opportunity to get to know one's fellow workers as the normal folks they were always meant to be.

In order to lead a team well and convince them to follow you into the (unknown) future, produce a clear and emphatic "stump speech" made up of the following four items:

• This is - where - we are going.
• This is - why - we are going there.
• This is - who - is going with me.
• This is - how - we are going to get there.

Borrowed from this great book I am reading called Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott.

This week marks exactly one year since I started my new adventure in the wild and crazy world of Internet.

I still think that this great company was the right choice, and I am up for the ongoing challenge to pioneer my way into the unknown year ahead.

Lots of challenges, pitfalls, ups and downs, rewarding projects and what not.

No one can predict the future nowadays, but then again that would be just too boring anyway wouldn't it?

According to the book I am reading, one of the important principles to which one should focus is:

"Tackle your toughest challenge today."

So then what does this mean to me? Well, at the moment my biggest challenge is:

"Inspire and lead those around me with the proper mix of enthusiasm, positive thinking and clear objectives during difficult times of change. While the future is uncertain, the team and I can influence progress to a great degree, more so than we realize."

My main challenge then is to convince and inspire.

Having to work the day before Christmas is perhaps not the most productive way to get things done.

Still, it is a fun and relaxing anyway in a spiritual kind of productiveness.

Hope you get lots and lots of presents this year.

The following article appeared in the Dutch newspaper Het Financieele Dagblad on 22/7/2004 under Personalia column:

"Internetprovider Demon heeft Kiffin Gish aangesteld als teamleader Development. Voorheen had Gish een eigen bedrijf en was hij actief als senior consultant op het gebied van e-business, web analyticus en mobile internet solutions."

Interesting, isn't it?

The extremely boring man sat right behind me again on my train journey back home. I could hear him very clearly, but this time around decided to try and ignore his amazingly mundane words which repeated themselves endlessly. Yes, no, you must be kidding, I agree, uh-huh, sure, no way, hum, dum, hard to believe, you don't say, I disagree, ad infinitum and then a mad recycling round and round. I thought it would make me crazy again, but somehow I survived.

What a waste of a long-deserved weekend. I finally woke up at around ten-thirty and did not get out of bed until way after eleven. During the week, I get up every morning at six o'clock sharp and it's a mad rush for me to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast (jam on bread and coffee) and then hastily cycle to town in order to catch the train to Amsterdam in time. Now on the first day of the weekend, I am already five hours behind the usual day routine. Oh well, I guess I needed the rest and relaxation, even if it meant lying around in bed with a semi-comatose mentality.

Alright then, I survived my first full five-day work week in the real world with flying colors. So far so good. Great company this is, lots to do as well as pleasantly dynamic and challenging.

There was this lady sitting behind me in the train and she was yelling and screaming. So what could all that ruckus be about? Messed up my time trying to relax by gazing out the window and thinking about nothing. Turns out she was talking on the phone. Aggravating how some folks think that just because they are using a mobile phone they have to raise their voices a hundred decibels or more. As if they are shouting to someone standing on the other side of some immense canyon three miles across.

Traveling by train is going to take some serious getting used to, that's for sure.

There were some technical problems, and the train departed later than it was supposed to. Then we were standing there in the packed train, pressed between sweating bodies and looking out the window.

Where is this place? Doesn't look familiar at all. Believe it or not a looping and curving detour to the east, down through Hilversum, and then doubling back to Utrecht.

Two and a half hours to get home is not a very relaxing way to end the day.

Finishing off an assignment within the estimated time period of six weeks as well as producing a (at least in my opinion) high-quality deliverable is a great feeling. Even the documentation and handover went smoothly.

However, during that period of hard work and lots of sweat, one gets to know fellow programmers, architects, project leaders, etc. Some quite close and personal. From one degree to another.

As usual there were some ups and alot of downs, like any other technical project hard-pressed to meet the upcoming deadline. Shifting priorities, ever-changing specifications, and never quite enough time. But in the end we learned much and felt good that the initial roll-out seems to be working like it should. More than one hundred SMS transactions per second. Not bad, not bad at all.

Sure I will kind of miss those kind folks and the informal spontaneous environment, but life goes on. From one step to the next.

Now I can really look forward to my new job starting next week. Four days of pseudo fun-and-relaxation. Funny how Amsterdam keeps on pulling me back to her. I lived there for eight years, and now this will be the third job I have within her motherly grasp. So I guess I really belong there some how.

New and challenging times to come.

One might say that my specialty is this: "coming in, making sense of things, cleaning up the mess, getting it all up and running again, and finally getting out of there -- all in a wink of the eye."

Hello, goodbye, here you go, see you later...

Actually, that pretty much explains my current assignment. Yes, I indeed got the stint after convincing them enough with my (much less than infinite) knowledge and nice-guy type attitude, that I have been hired for 1 month or more (I hope). A telecom company is having technical problems with a mobile service they are developing and they required someone to come in, make sense of things, clean up the mess, (see above), etc.

So I am pretty pleased about it. In fact, very very pleased, feeling refreshed and invigorated after my first week there. Even if it is pretty technical stuff (which by the way I can handle) and I am the pseudo- old fart guy surrounded by a bunch of computer whiz-kids under 30 years, I am having a fine time of it.

Make the best and continue, young man. And go for it.

Good news and bad news. Just when it looks like the chances are pretty good that I will be starting a new contracted project next week at a major telecom company in Amsterdam, my bike gets stolen. I will have to figure out a replacement mode of transportation in order to get to the train station in time next week. Funny how things always seem to balance out that way.

Alright, so tomorrow is the big day. Go for, it young man.

Let's just say that I have decided to dedicate the rest of the week on preparing for my important presentation this Friday.

Keep your cool and do not give up, whatever happens.

Depending on your mood, please pick one of the following:

Could this be the same person? Yes it could. In fact, it's me.

Could it be that things are picking up without me realizing it? That's to say, two more job interviews under my belt and two more to go. Who knows what else the future has in store.

"So you are familiar with the term 'passend werk' ('appropriate work') aren't you?" She asked me this as if she expected me not to know.

"Sure," I answered. "It means that they will help me find work that matches my skills and background." What else could it mean?

Wrong.

"No, I am sorry," she answered. "It means any work that you can possibly do." Then she added, as if she felt good hurting people with such words, "and you have no choice but to accept this kind of work." I could tell that she hated her job.

Funny, before my meeting with this so-called reintegration officer, I had been entertaining a false illusion that this person was going to help me find an appropriate job. I would be saved at last by this angel from above...

She saw by the expression on my face that I was a little confused. "That is why we make you sign a contract, otherwise we can not and will not help you at all."

That's the law, so la-di-da...

"Alright," I answered, "so that means that for example if there is a position available at some snack bar making French Fries, then I have to take it."

"Yes that is correct." I was beginning to understand and fathom the horrors of this macabre situation I had gotten myself into by being an unemployed bum for so long.

She gained even more pleasure when I explained that I had two university degrees, had struggled hard my whole life working my way up the company ladders, had assumed responsible positions here and there, etc.

"That is the law that the government here has decreed and you must accept it." You dumb and thankless foreigner you...

I thought about it a second and tried not to look back at her staring and wrinkled visage. And then I said aloud what I had been thinking, "alright, that would be fine."

Nothing like yet another interesting dimension to life through which I will gain even more knowledge as I pursue the moment of truth for which we have all been waiting. What a drag.

I saw it clearly before me...

Starting off all over again as junior assistant snack bar trainee, and in no time I would become the best French Fry maker in the whole wide world. Fantastic, I cannot wait.

Recent experience has shown me beyond any reasonable doubt that having a stellar resume and extensive skills is a serious drawback in finding employment.

How many more times will I have to hear that I have an impressive resume and I am a really nice guy, however we regret to inform you that you are too qualified for this given position? How many more times?!

(No please, I do not care, I will do it anyway, no problem at all, yes sir, no madam, that kind of stuff, alright.)

Although it does not sound very fair, that is the way things are now. To me it sounds like a clear case of age discrimination. Is that legal?

Take a deep breath and continue.

Time to blemish my curriculum vitae some, scrap the impressive parts, and scratch out anything even subtly implying a higher more responsible nature. Throw in a bunch of junior this and junior that. Truncate the chronological career rise around ten years ago.

(Subtract ten years from my age, glue a patch of hair to my forehead, dab away the gray spots with black hair dye, build up those biceps, trim those elongated nose and ear hairs, liposuction and belly be gone.)

Wear an earring, grow a goatee, listen to house music, carry a backpack and mumble my words. Whatever you do, do NOT speak articulately and avoiding making too much sense.

Maybe that will help.

Working in Finland might also be interesting, don't you think? They are recruiting.

Lately it seems to be getting worse than usual, those long impersonal lists of possible job vacancies. After staring at them for awhile, my eyes lose their ability to focus and all I see is an endless blur. All the way from top to bottom, just an endless blur kind of thing. Just delete the bunch of email notifications for now without even checking them out in more detail. Just not worth it. That'll teach those dirty bums.

Originally I was just planning to take it easy today, catching up on all the paperwork and all the other mundane end of the month administrative duties.

However.

The telephone rang, I picked it up, and then it was time to head on down to a place called 's-Hertogenbosch (also known as Den Bosch for those like myself you have difficulties pronouncing whatever it is supposed to sound like). New chances, new possibilities, unknown results.

Perhaps something positive? A change in the right direction? Whatever happens, well it was meant to happen and I will just ride the wave and hope for the best.

Just be myself, I keep telling myself.

Alright, so it's been forty-six years now. What next?

Today is the first day of September, which means that it was exactly one year ago today that I became unemployed. Bummer.

Back then I could have never imagined how quickly three hundred and sixty-five days could have passed me by. Even more difficult to comprehend would have been the fact that even after a whole year I have been unable to find work somewhere else. How is that possible?!

Could be my age, my experience, my outlook and/or a combination of these undesirable attributes.

Life is full of such historical moments, and it is important that we do not lose sight of them.

What next? It is high time to break out of this boring cycle, don't you think?

Summer vacation is over with (sniff), and today is the first day back in the real world for me. That is, if you consider bumming around ten hours plus a day trying to get a non-existent business up-and-running "the real world" then that is what it is, has become, and will be becoming. Now with the heat wave running on to the fourth day in a row, the rising temperature in my attic room office will make me sweat at an ever increasing rate (at least giving me the impression that I am struggling even more to become a future famous entrepreneur). And I will succeed...

Discovered this great web site called ikwilwerken.nl (which means "I want to work" in Dutch) where anyone who is unemployed can interact and exchange ideas. The mission is to help anyone without work by bringing common souls together as a group, which is stronger and more hopeful.

This evening they are having a meeting at the Hotel New York in Rotterdam. After exercising some and then sweating in the good old sauna, I'll drive down there and check it out. I am very curious.

It never hurts becoming more social and getting to know other people. In order to recognize other poor souls there, people will be wearing t-shirts with the text "ikwilwerken.nl" on the the front.

Crazy world we live in, isn't it?

Let's get rid of all that dust once and for all. It is never too late for a good old-fashioned Spring cleaning. All the books and shelves and lights and anything else I could find around the house has been freed of dust, vacuumed, rearranged and put back together again. Much work and sweating, but today was Sunday -- I was supposed to relax. Whatever, at least it is all done until the next year comes around. I hope that the dust does not come back too quickly, but you know how dust can be.

So here is a provocative maxim to make you think a little:

Real success that lasts is built upon a path of many failures.

True or false?

According to the news this evening it is now official. The rate of unemployment has never been this high since twenty years ago. That is about the time when I first started living here of all places. But the bad news does not stop there. The experts predict that the unemployment rate will continue to rise steadily for the next half year or so. The prognoses is the worst for Information Technology (hey that's me) and the best for the health sector (hey that's my wife). Now imagine the war with Iraq breaking out and the effect this will have on the European economy and unemployment. Try to remain positive? Hang on tight, we're headed for rough seas. I hope I do not get too sea-sick this time around.

As if change of fate does not influence the immediate surroundings in strange and mysterious ways, I randomly happened to discover an interesting link in my latest BBC Science weekly email newsletter.

Have you resolved to start the new year with a new career? What do you want from a job? Take the careers test and find out what sort of work might suit your style.

Don't forget that while taking this questionnaire, you should not worry about whether you have the necessary abilities, just about what "most appeals" to you.

There are six types of person defined and this is how I scored:

Might suit my interests and preferences:
+ Social
+ Enterprising
+ Artistic
+ Investigative

Less likely to suit my interests:
+ Realistic
+ Conventional

My results are kind of boring. Nothing really out of the ordinary that I did not know already. Would be curious however to hear from others how they scored and if they were enlightened by the results.

There are all kinds of other psychological tests available here for those interested in learning more about themselves in a pseudo-scientific way.

Whenever I get rejected from yet another company, I feel a little letdown of course. On the other hand, I also try to remain as positive as I can. Not easy but necessary for survival. I make it a habit to call the person back as quickly as possible, thank him for the time and trouble, say that I respect and can understand the reason for his decision, and request to have my information filed for possibilities of another job opportunity which might come up in the near future. You never know. This is a nice formal way for me to wrap it all up in a symbolic and spiritually completed way.

Does a good honest background combined with a solid level of knowledge and experience give one any advantage during this day and time? The way I see it, my mind is a sort of gold mine of information which can be used in a number of creative and perhaps also lucrative ways. That is what can become pretty frustrating in the long-run, e.g. not be able to use one's many assets as they were always meant to be. So one can easily imagine how it is very difficult not getting totally disheartened with not being able to land a job. Alot of energy spent on zero results (at least at first glance). The tendency is to become very cynical about everything and play the victim, but that would just be an easy cop-out. So what else is a young man like myself going to do besides hanging around and trying to remain alert and useful? Stay positive and open-minded, hang in there, and believe in oneself. The philosophy of living day by day is a good one but it is also an outlook on life which is exceedingly more difficult to follow as the days roll by. One, two, three, ..., one hundred and one, one hundred and two... Should living day-by-day be dependent upon the number of days? Is the passing of one day into the other some kind of cycle which does not repeat itself? Time and money is running out, and I better figure something out or else. Or else what? Well, or else I will have to figure something else out. Figure something else out, please.

Great news! We have found 1238 new jobs based on your job search agent criteria!

I have signed up with a number of these so-called job search sites on the Internet, and this is taken from a typical email that I receive on a daily basis. The twenty or so wonderful services for which I have signed up include such notables as: Monsterboard, Dice, CareerBuilder, TelecomCareers, and so forth and so forth. Each day I receive a bunch of emails congratulating me on the thousand and one new possibilities that could and will change my life. For the last couple of months, I have been responding with enthusiastic grace to enumerable possibilities with zero result. Lots and lots of work researching the companies, composing true masterpieces of cover letters, adapting and updating my resume, etc. I feel like cussing and complaining and throwing my computer out the window, but I won't. At least not this week. You see, this week I will take a break from this insane and useless activity, for it is just too frustrating and not really an efficient way to spend my time and energy. Last week has not been that fun at all, and I need a break. In order to recollect myself and figure out a more effective approach to keeping my two feet firmly settled on our mother Earth, silent recovery and contemplation is a much better path to follow.

The coming week I will concentrate on four activities, asides the standard activities of being a father and husband. These are, in no particular order, the following: finish off my most recent Krishnamurti book, study JBuilder and improve my Java expertise, and become even more and more adept at Medieval Total War.

I think that now after more than two months I am beginning to resign myself to the fact that this unemployment thing will be much more difficult to kick than I had originally expected. So what is an honorable man to do these days? Well, I will continue my active search for new and interesting jobs, but without getting overly excited and crossing my fingers all the time in the hopes that something will materialize by the next week. That only leads to frustrations and letdowns, which after awhile makes even the strongest at heart begin to question themselves and their supposed professional qualifications. In order to continue receiving my unemployment benefits (measly pittance that it is), I have to apply to a new job at least once a week. This should not be that hard, as up to now I have done much much more than that. I need to accept things as they are, relax and hope that my money does not run out too quickly. I have called up the unemployment services on a number of occasions, asking and pleading for the financial support I rightly deserve and have yet to receive. They keep apologizing and claiming that there are too many poor-soul unemployed folks like myself at the time and not enough workers there to dig through the reams of paperwork piling up. I will just have to wait and get poorer at the same time. So let's see, what next, prepare for the doghouse.

(Just to show you that there is still hope when you least expect it, about ten minutes after I finished this entry I received an email inviting me for yet another interview. Strange twists in the world in which we live.)

So I had yet another interesting interview this morning. Much like the others, but this time around I felt more positive about the results, a gut-feeling that things are indeed picking up speed for me. As it turns out, the potential job position is an international one at a relatively young company which is looking for more senior folks to strengthen its leadership. A half-American and half-Dutch person is required, one who is tempered between the two cultures. Like me one might say. The problem with these short one hour discussions is that your perception is superficial and it is difficult to get a true grasp on the type of work and what is expected from you. All I know is that I remain open and flexible for interesting opportunities as long as they overlap to some degree with my knowledge, background and career preferences. No use jumping on the bandwagon unless you are absolutely certain of the consequences, salary and benefits being just one of many aspects.

The job fair was not very successful. In fact it was "almost" a waste of my time. Most of the available positions were for dynamic and hard-working young bucks, not old-farts like myself. What a bomb. Had some interesting talks though with a number of individuals, but when I mentioned that I was keen on more senior roles, I was greeted by droves of heads shaking back and forth. No sorry no sorry see you later. I found this very strange. You see, each of the booths had a number of colored stickers on the side telling the passersby what kind of positions were available. Red meant marketing, blue meant finance and green mean IT (information technology). So this is typically how it went most of the time:

"Hi there, I see that you are looking for qualified IT professionals," pointing to the green sticker over there. No we do not have any positions for you available at this time. "So why the green sticker over there then?" Oh that sticker, well that was the situation four weeks ago. Things have changed. "Oh I see, so it is not going that well with your company anymore." Not well? You must be kidding. It has never been better! "Well, do you mind if I leave my resume behind just in case?" No not at all, that would be very nice, thank you. "Yeah, thanks alot."

Why do people have to lie in order to keep giving the false impression that everything is going along so well? Seems that in times of economic stagnation, companies are not willing to hire more experienced professionals like me because of higher salaries. The truth is that hiring a bunch of young bucks, while at lower salaries, will in the long run cost them much much more. Inexperience combined with required training combined with lack of leadership can cost a company an arm and a leg and another arm. Alright, so it is time to go and continue elsewhere. Time to start looking around for something else to do in the meantime. Fixing the washing machine, replacing lamps and ironing my shirts, bringing back the latest video before closing time, and other similar activities.

Tomorrow it is off to a job market congress in Utrecht to find out if there is a way for me to better myself in life. Busy, busy, busy and walk around alot. I have printed out a number of copies of my resume (in color) in order to impress those fine folks who might just be interested in my qualifications (who knows). Shake hands, pat shoulders, brag alot and in the end stand out sufficiently from the rest of the crowd. Be the winner, grab the trophy and get out of there. I am the hunter and those fine professional-looking people on the other side of the counters are my potential prey. I will dress up nicely, but I refuse to zip myself up in professional attire, eg. suit and tie and whatever. Okay nice slacks and shirt and polish my black shiny shoes to reflect the light and glare. Let them know who I really am. There are a number of workshops to offer hints and tips, and I will certainly focus on soaking up words of wisdom from those fine guest speakers who have succeeded so well in life and want to share their secrets with others. In order to better myself, you see. It almost feels like going to a last-minute sale, you know where all those desperate housewives dash into the store and fight each other off to grab the last items on sale before it is too late. Clothes and shoes and bras and pots and pans go flying all over the place. Before that meteorite strikes our planet or that black hole over there gets too close or the tree falls over exactly at the spot you happen to be walking by. Then it will really be the time to shake it off and get a job like any respected individual should.

Believe it or not, intuition plays an important role in even the seemingly most logical thought processes, you know those cold yes-or-no decisions based on hard facts. The truth of the matter is that without some form of underlying intuition, it would be impossible to make any decision whatsoever. Too bad that folks do not heed more to the voice of intuition. Probably the main reason that I received yet another rejection this afternoon. As if I was less suitable than the other two candidates, when in fact I was the only viable option for "true" success. Unfortunately, the interviewer was swayed the other way by the more obvious, a slight gust of wind, and while he certainly made what seemed the right decision for himself and his upcoming company, I was left out in right field. To wait for awhile and catch the long hits that might become home-runs by jumping back to the wall at the very last instant before it is too late. His right field will just have to remain empty and open and vulnerable for now. I choose instead to go with my intuition and let things rest as they may in the hopes that something will pop up in the not so distant future.

According to the weekly Dutch newspaper I subscribe to called the Automatiserings Gids, the number of job openings in the wonderful world of information technology in the Netherlands has decreased ever so drastically (again). In fact, they write that it has reached an all time "dieptepunt" which is a dutch term meaning "low point" falling below the three thousand mark. At the beginning of 2001, there were nearly eleven thousand jobs available, almost four times as many as today. Bad news, at least you might think. Good news might be that the challenge is even more attractive, that if in fact one does land a job somewhere and sometime, the feeling of accomplishment is even that more sweeter and fulfilling considering the lousy situation. Or am I just kidding myself? One cannot afford to shoot and spray buck-shot any which way, hoping that one meager pellet manages to hit some target out there. The key is to focus, take aim and then shoot. I am still in the process of figuring things out so that the act of focus will provide a more well-defined target. In the end this soon-to-be defined target will be easier to hit, I am sure.

Now is the time when all the formal rejection letters start rolling in, like a cool slow tide trickling in. Your bare toes curled into the sandy beach as the sea water squeezes its way between your toes. Most of these thin envelopes are opened only to reveal terse statements like: we regret to inform you, unfortunately there is no relevant position available, you are over-qualified for the function, and other blah-blah type of stuff. This trickle is to be expected, coolness coming along, but it is difficult nonetheless. Sinking slowly into the sand. I think that rejection is no fun, even for the strongest personalities. The art is resilience and an undaunted ability to continue onwards. You get mad, at the world around you, at the shortcomings of your own skills and experience, at the unfair way the dice have been thrown this time around. You feel like cussing and slamming your fist on the table, which I confess I have been doing alot lately. But there is nothing to do about it except hang in there, keep your nose above the surface of the water, and emanate trust and goodwill. Just move along.

As a young man on the dole who is desperately seeking employment in a competitive world, it is easy to be naive and fall victim to those questionable folks and their deceptive practices.

Just the other day I was called up on the phone by someone who claimed to have found my resume and was impressed with my skills and qualifications. I should of thought twice when I heard that one. Caught off guard I let myself get invited to some (secret) presentation where I could meet other successful career seekers and discover the fantastic concept which was awaiting me. Chuckle, chuckle. Normally I request company information like brochures or electronic documentation so that I can first study the organization and then decide if it is what I want. But this guy (probably trained extensively in these kinds of coercive one-way conversations) had a way of talking which somehow made me say yes. Dumb, dumb, dumb, but there is no way changing what has already happened.

So what was this so-called mess I had gotten myself in? Well, this company fosters the idea that by doing less you can make more. What is this all about and what is the secret? Well, it's called multi-level marketing (MLM) and be careful the next time you hear about it.

The following definition is taken from an article I found called The Mirage of Multilevel Marketing.

"Multilevel marketing (also called network marketing) is a form of direct sales in which independent distributors sell products, usually in their customers' home or by telephone. In theory, distributors can make money not only from their own sales but also from those of the people they recruit."

All you have to do for a small initial fee (about $100) is give away samples of a good product to your family and friends. Once this catches on you start asking for money, but those closest acquaintances can "join" your so-called company for special discount. If you get at least six to eight members recruited, you are promoted to a higher position. Each higher position means an increased donation way and above the initial $100, but since the money is now flowing in non-stop this extra charge is just peanuts. Now comes the good part, all these underlings are working to push the product and it is up to them now to recruit more folks into their sub-companies. Before you realize it, they in turn create revenue which is funneled back and you receive what they refer to as "residual profits." Kind of like a pyramid scheme, wouldn't you say? Well, they claim emphatically throughout the presentation that this is NOT a pyramid scheme, but I got to wondering. Wondering and calculating in my head and figuring out where the saturation point would be for recruitment in a given geographical location.

"Assuming an average of eight members in each layer. The numbers expand by the multiple of eight with each full cycle of payment. 8; 64;512; 4,096; 32,768; 262,144; 2,097,152; 16,777,216 and so on to numbers beyond the population of the USA and then the entire earth! At some point, a lot of people were going to lose, guaranteed."

I got the shakes and left. It was almost like I was inadvertently being abused to join some cult, and once I started investing money I could never escape. A bit scary and I preferred not to take any chances. Especially with a wife and four kids and a house etc. How could I have been so naive? During the hour long drive back to the safety of my own home, I had to wonder in the car to myself : is MLM legal?

Of course, after this interesting adventure, I did alot of research in order to discover for myself what this multilevel marketing crap is all about. Whew, that was a close one for me! You might want to read the article Ten Big Lies of Multilevel Marketing which explains alot of the untold story.

I feel like a survivor and I want to stay that way. Who wants to get stinking rich anyway? As if that is the most important thing in life. I am no fool.

At this rate I will have nothing else to do in about a week or so. I never would have expected that I could have been so overly productive during times of extreme idleness, that is living the shameful life of not having an honorable job. Even in my free time I am overly efficient and use my time too wisely. Just in the last week I have finished repainting the four doors, reinstalled the computer after the hard disk crash, and starting tomorrow I will be making the mosquito screens and hanging them up. Need just a few more days to do all the measurements, cut the metal frames to size and attach all the pieces together according to the instructions. I hope that the contraption does not fall apart upon completion. Once this is all done, what else will there be to do? I cannot sit around reading all day, because I am sawing through all my unread books at an accelerated pace.

For the very first time in my life, I will be unemployed. Can you believe that? Unemployed. That is at least if I do not find some other form of paying employment before the first of September. Bring in the bacon like any respectable father is supposed to do. That leaves me with less than ten days to get my act together, but I am not getting my hopes up. Less than ten days and counting.

The market and economy is plainly in bad shape for now, and I will have to accept that. Opportunities for folks my age and with similar experience and expertise are minimal. Bad chances. Survival of the fittest and all that muck. Bad chances.

Okay, let's rewind.

This morning my greatest of fears became a reality after a short and unemotional meeting with the manager of my department and the human resources manager. Two against one. This meeting lasted just under thirty minutes and it was quite unsettling for me. Very frustrating. I felt pretty helpless, angry and desperate, sad and nervous, all at the same time. In the back of my mind I wondered why things had turned out so sour this time around. As far as I was concerned, I had not done anything wrong. These two folks on either side of the table from me seemed distant, impersonal and formal. Masks and sounds and motions. A couple of nods, some so-called understanding glimpses, words emitted and then silence. Words came out like this: these are the facts, here you are, that's it, good luck, see you later. I nearly lost my cool on two occasions, but I caught myself just in time. There was also a short heated debate over whether or not I would receive some form of compensation because of this last minute announcement. I mean really, isn't it a bit at the last possible moment telling me bye-bye so near to the end of my contract? There is no time to prepare, two weeks is nothing, I will never find a job in time. In order to meet my financial requirements during the hiatus of unemployment, what now? But no go, as they told me further with the very same straight faces. I receive absolutely nothing, because my (temporary) contract was for one year only. Nothing more. Nada, rien, niets. One year sounds like a long time but it is not. I kept muttering to myself on the drive back home that I never should have accepted it (the contract) in the first place, but I didn't realize the grave risks at the time. That's how life is sometimes.

Isn't it strange and ironic that three wonderful weeks of a vacation can be followed by such a letdown? The pendulum swings back and forth, from one extreme to the other. Now is the time to join the grind of sending off job applications and feeling like you-know-what. Bad chances lead to new opportunities. Or so they say.

At least living with me is never boring and interestingly unpredictable (as my wife says).

People in this country sure have to work hard. Really really hard. Getting up at five thirty or six in the morning to go to work, and then not coming home until past seven in the evening does not seem to be that unusual here. This must be tough for a country which values so very highly freedom of the individual in general and family life in particular. At least the Americans keep repeating this to themselves on and off (on the radio and television, through magazine ads, sometimes so often that it gives the impression that they still have to convince themselves this is true). How can one live a balanced life in America? I think this is really difficult, but possible for the strong at heart and the people with a true pioneer fighting spirit. This is somewhat ironic when you think about it, almost a kind of dilemma. I love the feeling of getting the job done and the community feeling behind achieving these actions with an inspired team spirit. However, I do not think I could live this way very long without getting pretty depressed. Really really depressed. Isn't there more to life then just working working and working? While folks in Europe are perhaps less determined to work until they drop, at least we can enjoy life more fully there, spend the much deserved time left over with the family and friends. Five or more weeks vacation a year is not uncommon in Europe. Coming home in time to have dinner with the family either. The better society is the one in which the proper balance between work and play is achieved, or at least striven towards. Each country has its own norms that should be respected and understood, so do not read this entry as a kind of critique on the America way of life. This is merely a view of mine and how I might (never) be able to fit back into this way of life. A man stuck between two cultures, one foot on the European Continent and the other foot still firmly attached to the Amercan ways.

Kiffin, your career personality type is ENFP.

That means that based on the standard measure of personality traits, you have strong organizational and project management skills. When others lose sight of the big picture, you help them to stay focused to see what's important and weed out unnecessary details. You are most fulfilled by your work when you are allowed to think creatively and consider new approaches to work. You are not afraid to take calculated risks and see mistakes or failures as opportunity for growth.

You have a diverse array of interests and are even regarded as a Renaissance type of person. You possess an inspiring zest for life and abound with creativity. You seek venues to express your thoughts and feelings. Your personality and beliefs shine through in most of the work you do.

Hogwash.

One of the most difficult tasks I have at the moment is playing the role of diplomat between the technical folks and the commercial guys and gals. Seems there is a potential communication gap that I try to bridge using the tools of carefully thought out strategies and subtle jumping through hoops in order not accidentally to catch on fire. Coming from the one side of the canyon you hear things like: why is it taking so long? costs way too much money! And from the other side you can hear: we will never be able to finish it by then, we need more time! that's not in the requirements. The gentle art of interaction, people management, controlling (false) expectations, heeding to this and standing firm to that, it is all part of the game. I would not say that it is in my natural born tendencies to deal effectively with these illogical inconsistencies. Indeed it is against my grain and thus stressful tugging me sometimes in wrong directions. With my technical background and natural urge to relate to colleagues around me, however, I am making good progress with developing improving these difficult skills. Today was again tense to say the least. Announcing that my project would be delayed by a couple of weeks. Of course, no one will be happy, except the technical folks and the third party with a little bit more breathing room and a new opportunity to better the quality of the goods. Sigh of relief, but not for me. Stand firm and take the brunt of the attack, talk your way around the circles of curlicue conversations, make sense and even more sense if that is possible. Do not take it personally, believe in what you are doing, emanate energy and faith in the situation, remain sublime and positive, and have complete confidence in the performance of those team members which you have the honor of leading into battle.

Gotta drive up north today to talk with the technical folks there who will be helping us set up our web servers. This involves two parallel projects which intertwine alot and are therefore interdependent on alot of mutual factors and interfaces. The functional design document is still in the making, so I will have to raise my voice just enough to push it along. We are running a tight schedule, and any delays now have major impact on the deadlines. I would have preferred they told me in advance rather than having to wait until the end of the day. So during this meeting we have to figure out the soft- and hardware configurations so that everything can be ordered and setup in time for the introduction date. Documentation will be made available as soon as possible, so we will be brainstorming with the other techies to achieve some kind of efficient brain dump. As much information as possible will be collected, structured and prioritized. That is what they nowadays refer to as knowledge transfer. One thing is for sure, I have placed documentation and testing high on my list of priorities in order to minimize risks to my project. Life as a project manager is fun in more ways than one.

Lately I have on occasion been reminded by certain individuals (whose names I would prefer not to mention here) that I am too often lacking in certain regards when it comes to the art of communication with other human beings. This results in misunderstandings and agreements which are not quite completed. I come under fire and duck low. Saying this and meaning that where mental wavelengths do not match at the same level. This is disturbing for me to hear, especially since I am "totally" unaware of this aggravating shortcoming myself. Problems communicating? Strange, didn't notice anything. Almost like in the Hitchcock film "Suspicion" where Fontaine is the fearful wife who believes her husband Grant is trying to kill her. Is he really trying to kill her or is he just trying to make her think that in order to make her crazy? Rather than murder I am worried about communication breakdown and a possible conspiracy. Could I be getting even more paranoid that just keeping track of reality is becoming a chore in concentration? I think not. This chore of trying to keep up with the rampant changes and movements around me draining my concentration just enough that I miss out on the most subtle of implications? No one can communicate with one hundred percent effectiveness, but I had always considered myself at least above average. When it comes to the written word I am definitely alright, a-okay, though at times I tend to be too intellectual and/or esoteric. Difficult enough I must admit, for some verging on miscommunication indeed. But talking with fellow employees should be as straightforward as combing one's hair, offering a cup of coffee, throwing a quick smile or glancing in the distinctly right way. Or not? Why would communication be a problem for me and how does it effect those around me? If indeed this problem really exists. No it cannot be that bad now. Could be I am thinking that I am saying things or that I intend to express certain ideas and that they are emitted incorrectly from my visage. Words coming out okay, but the expressions on my face, the look of my eyes, an awkward motion of my hand or whatever, distracting the listener just enough so that he or she perceives chunks and disconnected impressions. Not quite exactly what I intended, not quite exactly and enough to shift out a chasm between us. Shouldn't be. Of course, I remain open for suggestions on how to improve this, but I need concrete examples in order to recognize this fault and be able to avoid nastiness in the future. Okay you guys with the comments, please provide evidence and guidance in a good enough form so that I can improve. If that is really there. See, I am unable to see this for myself clearly. I will be more attuned and ask around. Repeat myself clearly and repeat what I think others are saying to me. But that is exactly what I have been doing for quite some time now. Don't stop but keep on going. It is a communication breakdown which hasn't quite started to break down. Not yet, so there is time, time to spare. So there is still hope, I hope. This entry about communication has been communicated in good form at least. Or not? You the readers are the one and only ones who can help me decide.

Well after having been working at the new premises now for nearly two months, I received my company badge in the mail today. I guess that makes me a full-fledged (external) worker now even if I am merely a so-called subcontractor. Does that make me any less valuable? I think not. I hope to be able to work on new and interesting projects for awhile as this is an exciting wireless technology of which I can be a part. But no one can tell the future, especially on the bumpy road of mobile telecom. Hang in there folks. Now that I have been "badged" okay it is time to go on and on.

An invaluable talent which few individuals own is the ability to listen. By listening I mean not just the laid back passive kind of listening but the skill to listen attentively and actively, thereby really understanding what the other person is trying to get at. In my daily routine, especially while involved with the very hectic surroundings of my work, it seems that people rarely really listen to each other. They only hear what they want to hear, mostly to gain their own advantage in a win-or-lose attitude. This is a real shame. We can all learn alot from each other if only we could listen to each other better. This is just an observation of mine based on my experiences during the last month. Rather than talking alot and discussing around the bushes wouldn't it be more productive listening to each other and together pursuing a win-win goal in mind? Together and not apart and many as one.

I have those periods in my life where I have this itchy feeling that I am only blowing the little money I have down a bottomless pit if you know what I mean. Down, down, down the bottomless pit. This year we have rebuilt and added a new room, are having the outside of the house repainted in white and off white, just bought all the kids a new collection of summer attire, had modern art posters framed in museum glass (I got sucked into that one by the sweet talking art expert lady working on my so-called intellectual weaknesses), had the car checked up on and repaired, paid the yearly taxes (more than 50% of my salary), bought a new home computer, bought the necessary travel accessories etc. for the upcoming trip to California in August, took the family out to a Chinese restaurant (The Red Garden) to celebrate Thea getting the new job, and on and on and on ad infinitum. How is this possible? Will I ever be able to balance my budget at the end of the year? How about this week? Should I focus on a thriftier attitude and focus on minimal spending only at the special sales in the cheapest joints? I found myself getting overly concerned today while in town. I took Maarten to share a special father-and-son time together. Poor Maarten wanted an ice-cream cone this afternoon, but I said no. Mean father, but that is the way it is, has to be. Not because I was worried I would spoil him, he almost never asks for things, anything, and certainly he deserved some kind of treat and/or reward for having been so patient with me in town looking everywhere for the discounted offers (never cheap enough and never good enough at the same time). What the heck, I thought. I gave in to his innocent and sweet voice, bought him that ice cream cone, and a big fat bag of peanut M&M's, and that can of Coke. Mere pittances compared with the other financial burdens in life, a few peanuts. Ideas are what make you the way you are. Are they truly burdens or just an excuse to waste your life away worrying for nothing? Worrying about ideas about ideas about worrying (circle of thought). No bottomless pit for me, so let's go on through the rest of the weekend and see what happens, okay? By being poorer one has the urge to splurge. By being not poor one thinks happiness comes with euros and dollars and whatever other form of currency. That is not true. There are more euros coming so the more the better, or so they think nowadays. The truth of the matter is that the more the worse the less the better and the middle path the best, if you know what I mean. Not too much and not too little.

Today is Sunday and that means it is "official" trash day. Every week on this day of destiny, I take it upon myself to empty all the trashcans in the house. There are in total seven trashcans of various sizes, shapes and colors. I have to admit that while this is not my favorite activity in the week, it does give me extreme pleasure ridding the household of so much unwanted extra errata. Almost as if I am cleansing my soul, atoning all my sins of the previous week, releasing all sorts of poisons from my system, a spiritual and mental catharsis of unknown dimensions never experienced before. At least not for seven days that is. I start at the top floor and work my way downward. If Lennart's trashcan is not too full, I can use it to collect the others. I progress to the other kids' rooms, the bathroom and then to the kitchen. Finally every single trashcan has been emptied of undesirable wads of paper, candy wrappers, and other junk. What a relief, pure relief. The only problem though is that I expect it to stay this way the rest of trash day. Rule #1: "once emptied, all trashcans must and will remain pristine and unblemished for the remainder of the trash day." If someone dares breach this rule of the house, then there I am tramping up or down the stairs again in order to remove that extra paper wad, lollipop stick, gum wrapper, carpet fluff, release the house just in case. You never know, just in case. It all does make me feel pretty good, but is this perhaps a little too exaggerated? Oops, there we go again. Someone has defamed a pristine trashcan upstairs, and I have to react act in time before it is too late. There are trashcans here, trashcans there, trashcans everywhere. If you do not watch out they will overflow everywhere, and you will become submerged just gasping for air above the flotsam of the stormy seas. The cleaner my soul the better.

This has been a busy week for me, a very busy week. I have had to acclimate myself to new working surroundings at a wonderful new company with all kinds of new-fangled technologies and information I have been collating full-time, trying to understand everything and even more about this new state-of-the-art stuff. I also have to get used to the predictable (and sometimes boring) life of commuting by train which also involves alot of waiting and wondering and sitting. A thirty minute commute which is just enough time to wake up and read a half chapter of a book. Now I will reward myself with a nice hot bath, and afterwards I will just lie in bed with a good (Javascript and/or Jung) book plainly sipping my Rivella with three ice cubes. But first I need to trim my ear and nose and eyebrow hairs which have been growing in massive clumps taking over my face and making me look pretty ugly. Bushes of hair coming out. Life goes on and on, I hope. The bathtub is now filling up so I gotta go. Long live mobile technology and the more bits and bytes the merrier.

Hurrah, I finally got the job today! Originally it was agreed that I would be contacted yesterday evening with the final decision, but no one called. So the first thing I did when I arrived at the office this morning was to give my account manager a buzz. He is responsible for the telecom market, and he would be the first one to know. He did not pick up the phone, so I just left a short message on his voice mail. I asked him to call me back with the decision, and that he had better "make my day" or else. So he called me back after less than five minutes and did, "made my day" that is. This means that I will start this week, taking the next logical step in my very chaotic and unpredictable career as a project manager. Pretty exciting, don't you think? Here I am at the forefront of the latest mobile technology again, trying to be a true pioneer who knows all there is to know. Before you realize it everything will become wireless.

The human mind has been wireless since the beginning of time, so it is high time that the rest of the world catches up. In the meantime, I feel very grateful and very happy that things have been turning out the way they have up to now. Life goes on again.

The many woes of translation work have kept me occupied for the last couple of weeks. You see, since there is no work available which is relevant to me, that is one matching my knowledge and background, I have assumed the role of "junior" translator type of person. At least I am being productive, I hope. As a native English speaker, I have been invited (asked in panic and desperation) to help out with a number of so-called important documents that need to be written in snappy attractive flowing sentences. By tomorrow. Should have already been done yesterday.

The average Dutch person is pretty good in written English but misses out in the subtle writing style required to catch ones attention and pull the reader along to the desired conclusions. This is the company for you! Selling by using the written form is an art in itself. Now that that rumor has spread through the company grapevine, I get called by tons of people all the time. You see, I am an experienced senior project manager, NOT a (junior) technical writer. How dare you! However, I am expected to remain productive during very difficult times, so it is difficult to say no. The ironic thing is that all this internal activity I work hard at and occupy myself with is not valued very highly by my employer. No, not in the very least. He is greedy and only wants money, more and more money.

In the meantime, I am expected to search out and land a so-called "paying" assignment somewhere, a lucrative project, or I am out of there! See you later, man. See you in prison.

Now, translating is okay for a while. It does involve some creativity and it can be quite challenging receiving scraps and pieces of input from everyone every which way and trying to collate varying writing styles into one coherent piece of majestic art. In Dutch, there are many many words that consist of many many words put together, at times exceeding thirty to forty letters, believe it or not. These humongous word forms represent one concept that cannot be easily translated into English form without producing some mangled spaghetti sentence. Take for example the following words:

omgekeerdevenredigheid - inversely proportional.
huishuidelijke aangelegenheden - domestic affairs.
matigheidsgenootschap - temperance society.
onfatsoelijkheid - indecency.
fijngevoeligheden - niceties.
samentrekkingsteken - circumflex.
onverschoonbaarheid - inexcusable.
ontwikkelingsgeschiedenis - history of development.
openbaargemeentevervoer - public transportation.

The last word in the list openbaargemeentevervoer is especially interesting as it reminds me of the very first week I was living in Holland. I decided to take a bike trip to the countryside north of Amsterdam. In order to get there, I first had to take a ferry behind the train station. As I stood waiting for the ferry to return from the other side, I could not help seeing the large thick yellow letters spanning the full length of the ship. Even today I can see the clearly as if it was yesterday:

O-P-E-N-B-A-A-R-G-E-M-E-E-N-T-E-V-E-R-V-O-E-R

As a non-native Dutch speaker (who just happens to come from America where the conversation consists at most of a bunch of short and choppy sentences) such a long word is impressive to say the least. How can people in this country read and think and talk all at the same time? Does the human mind first have to collate the whole length of twenty-four letters before it is known what is implied? Or is there some kind of intuitive foresight that after the second or third syllable, combined with some contextual reference mode, where the mind can already jump into the future and figure things out. This is the very same with the construction of passive tense where the verb forms do not appear until the end of the sentence. How does one know what the action is when the verb does not appear until the end of the sentence?

Put this way: How does one the action when the verb until the end of the sentence know does not appear?

So should I continue this translating stuff? No thanks but thanks. I have no choice now, so just make the best of it. Yes, thanks.

Today turned out to be a very long day for me again. Yet another important assignment had to be completed in time, and as you can expect in the business in which I dedicate myself, we all went into overtime mode. Why? Well, tomorrow is the deadline, at twelve noon to be precise, and not a second earlier. That is when our proposal has to be turned in to the reproduction department in order to make the fancy-looking brochure and offer. There is this potential customer who could offer the company all kinds of work, if we could only convince this successful company that we are the best of three candidates for the partner shortlist. So I continued until late in the evening. My job as native English speaker was to review the translated Dutch for general spelling and grammatical errors, but also to collect the input from the various sources and iron out the seventy odd pages to create a uniform and readable masterpiece. My question is why everything always has to be done so quickly and at the very last minute? Perhaps that is inherent to the competitive society in which we live where the hardest workers and most dedicated win the big deals for an insensitive economy. If one thinks about it more logically, it would make better sense to define well ahead of time a long enough preparation period for all candidates, providing a fair and reasonable chance for all. However, we have to prove ourselves, that we are the quickest and the best at the same time, rushing just a little too much in too little time.

Alright so it is time once more for me to commute via automobile again, at least for the time being. Of course, I prefer the fifteen minute bike trips, especially now that the weather is improving as Spring approaches. However, a more important project has popped up for a potential customer who has invited my company to provide a story in the form of completing a so-called RFI, Request for Information. Since this company is some big international organization, they ask that the report be done in English. I am the lucky professional who has been asked to review and correct the input from others so that something slick and attractive results. Time to score, and score big. This is an interesting challenge, but it is a longer drive to Diemen where the headquarters is located, just east of Amsterdam. I end up spending at least three hours extra a day sitting in the car. Yes, you heard it right, three lousy hours enclosed behind glass. Turn up the radio, listen to the BBC World Service, bring my CDs along, hum to Alanis Morisette, crank up Neil Young, and try to make the best out of it. Sitting in the car is not my ideal way to enjoy myself, but you are alone and can think alot about many things. Contemplate the future, play philosophy and solve the mysteries of nature. Wish me luck folks.

"Goedemiddag met IQUIP, receptie Reeuwijk." This afternoon I get to work as receptionist. When the telephone rings, that is how I am expected to greet the caller. What am I doing downstairs behind the reception? Good question. As part of the general cost-cutting activities lately, it is expected that we all help out in one way or other with the more menial chores, if you don't mind me referring to them that way. I don't really mind, although it is not my favorite activity picking up the telephone and greeting visitors as they enter or leave the premises, keeping track of the badges, collecting the internal mail, that kind of thing. A sobering yet enlightening experience, getting to know more intimately the other dimensions of company life. Of course, my colleagues have to joke and mention something funny about me sitting here, chuckling as they walk by, but everyone has either done it already or will be punished soon enough. This is yet another role I have assumed with success. Knowledge and experience in a professional environment. I will add it to my resume, somewhere at the top: Class B Apprentice Receptionist, at your service.

You know, I never ever could have imagined that a film about drinking coffee could be so spiritually stimulating. Slurp.

There is a really fine line (razor thin I should say) between shaving yourself well and cutting yourself all over the place so that blood splatters arise on your freshly ironed spotlessly clean collar. This is especially annoying if you are wearing a white shirt to work with a professional-looking artificial silk tie (don't tell anyone), and during the coffee break you discover this in the bathroom while looking at yourself in the mirror. No one dares mention it for some reason (they must be polite and unintrusive, of course), but you know that everyone has noticed it. Today is Saturday so I had the opportunity this morning to do some experimental work without the fear of ruining another important presentation at my work. I took my time but shaved the very best that I could and as carefully as possible. The very same result, chop and chop and drips of blood oozing out. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that my face is not perfectly smooth, as I had previously suspected. It had a number of bumps and irregularities in the contour, meaning that these cellular maxima were neatly sliced off even if these tips were only a few microns across. The homeostatic properties of the human body mean that internal blood pressure will elicit an oozing of redness through these breaches in the skin holding you together, no matter what. Oh well, the solution is to give up shaving altogether or figure out a way of removing facial hairs more patiently without the barbarious implement referred to as a razor blade.

Here are some interesting references for your late night entertainment:
Tips on shaving / Tired of cutting yourself while shaving? / Waxing instead of shaving.

I like to brag about myself and tell people that I am an IT professional specializing in telecom, my area of expertise being mobile telecommunications. If you do not believe me then have a look at my curriculum vitae and judge for yourself. That is, if you can read inbetween the lines and discover my true knowledge and experience in this area.

The problem nowadays is that the world of telecom has been stagnating the last year or so, and it has become impossible for me to land an interesting assignment. I was hired at IQUIP in order to gear the company activities more in the direction of mobile telecom, e.g. mobile Internet and that kind of stuff. Too bad that the moment I walked in the front door of the office, things were going unbelievably bad.

So what is a so-called professional like myself doing in a place like this and what am I planning to do? I am an "expert" in something that is paper-thin at the moment. Paper thin in the sense that what used to be thick and wonderful and everywhere has now become a cellophane unreality. An unreality through which I am going to have to break in order to take the next logical steps in my (successful) career. And of course I am also feeling increasingly uneasy about my future. I have a family to think about, and their future is just as important if not more important than mine. Where will I be in a year from now?

During my life I have overcome similar obstacles and things have in the end always "appeared" to have turned out just fine. At least that is how I adapted to the new situations, trying to be flexible and open and willing to surrender. I am positive and I seek challenges. I visualize success the best I can in order to increase the chances of it actually turning out that way. I try not to forget that each of us creates to a large extent the world around us.

So what next? Today is the very last day of the month of February in the year of 2002. We are one-sixth of the way through the year, and there is still so much more to come. Telecom blues will come and they will go. Drift with the stream of things, surrender to the current, and let it all go. That's what I say.

If you are interested in exploring more about telecom and the areas I happen to pursue myself, then I can recommend the following sites: wireless newsfactor and wireless developer network. Check them out and find out all the wonderful things that are and will be happening.

Ripping out the old pinkish carpet from the stairs started out pretty well early this morning. Within ten minutes I had already torn away most of the major pieces all the way from the attic to the bottom floor. Stripped away the thick slabs of carpet and tossed them down to a heap at the bottom of the stairs. It felt good, like I was making lots of progress, going fast.

But first.

That's when things slowed down, slowed down to the opposite extreme. You see, there was all this old adhesive compound underneath the carpet I had torn loose, a hardened reddish glue which also had to be removed. I bent down, took a closer look, scraped, gashed, chipped and cussed alot. But the darned compound would not give way very easily. I went to the store and bought this so-called carpet glue remover, and I applied the thick goo the best I could. The fumes nearly made me pass out, and when the remover touched the skin of my hands or arms or legs or bare feet, the burning sensation was unbearable. To make matters even worse, the so-called carpet glue remover did not help much at all except to make the reddish hardened glue nothing more than "wet and mushy" reddish hardened glue. By then most of my nostril hairs had dissipated, my eyelashes were no more, and I was flying somewhere above the house on my way to the lakes. Boy it was beautiful, next turn to the right planet Pluto.

But first.

When I realized that I was no longer flying, that I had passed the planet Pluto nearly thirty million miles before, I opened my eyes ever so slowly and looked in front of me. There was this white screen flickering before my eyes. My fingers were alive and nimbly pounding the keyboard, creating all kinds of amazing sounds and words and sentences. My blog, my blog. It is time to finish another blog.

But first.

Don't feel like writing down much today. Started out okay, got rolling really well, things picked up speed nicely and it was looking real good, really good, fantastically good. You know, I know that what I am doing is the right thing. But... boom, crash, bang and all the rest. I thought that what I was doing was a great idea, a flash of creativity, the winning goal at the last second, we won! Too bad, got reprimanded in the end by folks who know these things better than I. They just cannot get it, as if I am communicating on a completely other wavelength, spitting words and effort into nothingness. Just another bump in the road towards success, wherever that is. Success? Who needs it anyway. Shit. A flash of creativity goes down the drain, but it is weekend.

I am very ...

I am much too busy to write a good blog for today.

Must finish off an important presentation I am going to give at an important telecom company tomorrow.

This fine company is a large mobile operator in Europe, and they are preparing all kinds of interesting stuff for the upcoming launch of a new generation network based on GPRS.

If my company can land this assignment then I will have proven myself worthy.

I will do my best to make this work.

People tend to behave in a very irrational and unpredictable manner when put in stressful situations.

This is especially the case when the consequences are potentially life-threatening. For example, scoring an important assignment and bringing in a lucrative project for the company. Big bucks in a time of insecurity and economic stagnation. Panic mode brings out the worse in us and colleagues come under mental strain. The team threatens to break apart because of slight differences in opinions that in the end are so trivial as not to make the slightest difference in the outcome. But reactions to these differences become exaggerated, and all of a sudden it is like everyone is drowning.

Splash, splash and grab the nearest object to remain afloat even if it happens to be a fellow team member.

Better yet would be to combine strengths and prepare a logical no-nonsense approach at solving the predicament. Unite as one in order to remain afloat. Thinking logically is pretty difficult, especially on stormy seas where waves are crashing down on top of you.

Crashing down on top of you.

In the long run, those that unite for a common purpose will win out. However, survival today is first priority in order to make it past the first steps towards this long-term adventure. A combination of the two would be nice, the perfect balance, the middle path. As the logical visionary it is my duty to bring this about through respect, determination and conviction.

Don't get too wet now.

Speaking about junk mail, here's one I received early this morning which is completely off base:

Could this be another secret message? How does this person know that for the first twenty years of my life I wanted to become a doctor? Well, things turned out differently.

For the better.

Funny (and interesting) how in this email they wrote "patients" when they really meant "patience" instead.

Wanna hear a really funny story?

Well, in the morning I was hastily working behind my computer trying to get some last-minute work done. Rush, rush, rush. The construction folks were working hard in the garage, hammering, drilling, sawing and other kinds of noises. Rush, rush, rush. Got called a couple of times. Almost done? Finished yet? Yeah, yeah, don't worry. No problem. Rush, rush. Downstairs I heard the front door open, and the workers came in with their overalls on, tramping their dusty boots on the ground. Almost finished? Okay, okay. One more page and it's off we go. Rush, rush...

Click. Black screen. Silence and nothingness. Pure nothingness.

With a shudder I realized what had happened. Oops, sorry about that, the guy yelled up to me. He had been messing around with the electricity, and poof it was done in a second. Something had short-circuited and the electricity had gone out. All gone. Two hours of work, for nothing.

I didn't get mad. I didn't even care. I just chuckled. Am I getting crazy? Or just overly relaxed? Much too relaxed about life. When I walked down the stairs, the poor guy squinted his eyes at me trembling ever so slightly, afraid I was going to beat him up or something. Everything going okay? I asked in an overly friendly tone of voice. Had to go to work (empty-handed).

Well, but that's life. Always so unpredictable that some of us cannot stand it. Not me. I flow with the stream and take it day-by-day.

Too bad I am going to get fired, though.

Today is (almost) my last working day of the year 2001. Hard to believe, yet another year past the millenium. When I was a kid, the year 2000 seemed so very, very far away. The impression back then was that the lifestyle in the year 2000 would be quite similar to the Jetsons, our own rocket-cars flying around, robots and other gadgets serving us, almost a comic book way of life in the space-age. So much fun and so much to look forward to. And I would be alive then (I hoped). Boy was I glad to be growing up when I was.

George, Jane, Judy, Elroy, Astro and Rosey. Henry the handyman. Spacely Sprokets and Cogswell Cogs.

Well, things have turned out slightly differently. Not quite as exciting as I had hoped as a kid, but good enough. For adults at least. For awhile I was into figuring out how old famous people had become by subtracting their date of birth from their date of death. I had this book I absolutely cherished, it was about the well-known thinkers throughout history: Plato, Kepler, Copernicus, Newton, Einstein, etc. Inside the front and back covers were pictures of each famous person with the dates of birth and death. It was a simple mathematical chore to find out how old they were at the moment of death, an extra insight into the past which fascinated me and gave me the impression I was discovering something new, something very private, about these heroes.

All of a sudden it dawned on me that I could calculate how old I would be in the year 2000, that fantastic futuristic era when I would be buzzing around in my own space vehicle. Just like the Jetsons et al. Okay, so I was born in 1957, so subtract 7 from 0 but first carry over the 1 and then another 0 minus... Hmmm, that means I would be forty-four years old. Forty-four. That's impossible, I would be an old man! Not a kid anymore. That wouldn't be fun at all. Or would it? Disillusion is hard for a child to deal with but shaken awake I decided to hang in there and make it. No matter how old and decrepit I was to become, or I thought.

Well, it is true. Here I am writing about it. Today is (almost) my last working day this year.

So what's an experienced telecom expert like myself doing for work lately?

Well, howabout some visual basic programming? Web design? Other internal projects at the company? Yes, that's true. But I have nothing to complain about. At least I have work, and I am enthusiastic about it.

Who says that the natural progression of one's career is: baby-kid-teenager-student-junior programmer-programmer-senior programmer-team leader-project leader-project manager-team manager-and then who knows what?

I have done it all. However, not enough.

But before I get too carried away in my career as a future-famous who-knows-what, it will be a good lesson in life to do what I am doing now. Humble myself, roll up the sleeves, and get to work like everyone else. The most important thing to keep in mind is to remain positive, very positive. Because.

Whether you like it or not your thoughts do and will influence the world around you to one degree or another, more or less, more than you realize. The world consists of outlines and it is up to you to fill in the empty spaces. With positive energy. Fill in the empty spaces. Spaces.

Still hanging around waiting for the right project to come around. Currently there is nothing available. Just hanging around trying to make the best of things work out, if you know what I mean. On idle since September and there is no end in site at the moment. I am a bit worried that our kind relation managers in desperation are throwing my resume around every which way hoping to land a job. Am I too old, too qualified, too expensive? I have decided not to shave until I find the right project. Actually, when you think about it logically, this is the perfect opportunity for me to expand my skill sets, do some extra training, meet people and interact. However, I was stupid enough to sign a temporary contract for one year. By then it might be a totally other story. A window washer could be an interesting and challenging alternative, don't you think?

"...Kiffin would like an assignment in which he can pursue an advisory role, based on his solid and broad technical background, preferably in a leadership role weighted with some responsibility. He likes to help customers think together and from within a team environment come up with creative solutions to complex problems with an international and company wide character. If necessary, he is willing to do more technical activities as long as there is the proper balance between the required personal and/or commercial aspects. Kiffin views himself as a diplomat driven to bringing people together and to finding the proper harmony between the technical and more human sides of information technology. He inspires himself through variations in type of work at different levels, and he enjoys working with people and sharing ideas. In view of his background, Kiffin's preferences naturally lie in the telecom market, especially in the area of mobile services and applications. Project duration is at most six months to one year, no longer. He is convinced that the future of mobile telecommunications is a lucrative and exciting one, and he feels confident there are many new and exciting frontiers to explore in this unknown arena of technology..."

Wow. Now tell me, is this a realistic preference or an impossible dream? Some say you should set your sites pretty high, but this is aimed at the the planet Jupiter I would say.

After days of preparation and high expectations, my presentation took place yesterday evening. The idea was to explain the project for which I am responsible and what we have achieved since the start. I would say that things went fine. Around twenty-five people showed up, and there was lots of interaction. The audience was a mix of personalities which makes such an evening extra unpredictable. There are always those who are positive and there are always a couple of so-called experts that are more critical and act like they know everything better. To be honest, I am still fairly sensitive to negative criticism, especially when it is unreasonable. Positive comments are always nice, but critical interaction is necessary in order to share ideas fully and improve the project on which you are working. I am a consensus person and choose the middle path. That means sacrifice and compromise which for an egoist like myself is difficult to do. Oh well, as they say: "keep the door of your heart open for as long as you can."

Scrape, scrape. Winter inititiation in the form of thin ice covering the windshield. Early this morning, I was greeted by this when I entered my car on the way to visit a customer in Den Haag (normally I go by bike). There is always a first time for each season, winter included, and the fact that I had to scrape the ice from the car windows is symbolic in that regard. In Dutch you have "afkrabben" which is the verb to scrape. If pronounced correctly "afkrabben" even sounds like the noise which is made. Scrape, scrape...

Well, wonder no more. Here follows a short description which "should" hopefully give you a slightly better idea. That is, if you can understand it.

"Service providers continue to urgently require well-automated operations processes whether they are incumbent providers or new entrants and whether communications service providers, application service providers, Internet service providers, etc. Service providers are faced with ever-increasing competition, a market experiencing dramatic change at an unprecedented rate, as well as an industry experiencing significant shakeup. Some are struggling with high growth from a start-up phase, others are struggling with the commoditization of key cash-cow services and, yet others are struggling to move from a manual-intensive, inconsistent, inflexible environment to one that provides significant improvement in customer focus, service quality, unit cost, and time to market. Service providers have to pervasively do business electronically with trading partners, suppliers and wholesale and retail customers. For the growing Mobile, Wireless and IP Services markets, these service providers are focused on quickly provisioning new customers and supporting service quality issues. For all service providers, the drive to introduce both new value-added services and dramatic improvements in customer support is intense. There is an increasing need for Service Providers to manage the integration required in mergers and acquisitions activity due to the consolidation trend the industry is now experiencing." - taken from eTOM Business Process Framework GB921v2.5.

That's pretty much the gist in a nutshell. For those of you more interested in the details, please point your favorite browser at one or both of the following Internet sites: Telemanagment Forum and/or TMFCentral.

Technology companies worldwide are laying off employees. Other companies are simply going broke or just closing up business. Of course, since this is such a sensitive subject, no one wants to talk about it hoping that by ignoring it that it will go away. Lots of questions and people wondering, getting upset and that type of thing. I have decided not to get worried and just see what happens. What I cannot figure out is why things either go super great or really bad, the pendulum swinging from one extreme to the next. Humanity never seems to learn from its mistakes. The Internet craze is another example of foolish fixation pushing things to the extreme. Wasn't it supposed to be some panacea making us all unbelievably rich? And thus happy. A Nirvana. Now look what is happening! Better to live one day at a time, and if I get laid off then let it be. Am I sounding too passive?

This morning my proposal for a new service portfolio for IQUIP was approved by the committee assigned to oversee internal research and development projects. I wasn't that nervous, but having to present my views in front of the group was certainly not a very easy task.The name for the new service portfolio I wish to pursue is: "Dienstenpalet gebaseerd op eTOM." Translated into plain English, this means something like: "Service Portfolio based on eTOM." The eTOM model is a worldwide standard, a framework for describing business processes. Sound interesting? Basically it means going out to potential customers and offering to help them improve their business processes. For the last couple of years most companies like telecom operators have been very technology oriented, more interested in forcing the latest technological advances down the throats of the consumers without considering whether or not there is a market for such products. So much hype and cut-throat competition has brainwashed the world for some time now. But now with the lull in the economy and the ensuing crisis, these companies are realizing that they cannot serve the huge customer base they have unknowingly brought upon themselves very well. That's where I step in, introduce myself, slap a few faces, and reposition these poor souls so that they become customer-driven. Let's redefine the interfaces within your organization, check out the processes and work-flow management, ad infinitum. For a technical nerd like myself this is new and challenging ground to discover. I feel like a pioneer, but it is not easy groping ones way through the unknown.

I am a little bit worried that I am turning into a lazy bum. During the day I do work hard, but in the evenings and weekends I tend to do very little. What energy I have left over is spent on the kids and the computer, and of course my wife. I hit the bed early (especially when Thea has an evening shift) and become glued to the television, flipping endlessly in order to become distracted. I go to sleep past midnight, and I get out of bed way too late the next morning. Never before seven thirty. Even during the week I have to be shaken awake so that I can hastily take a shower and cycle to work in time. I plan to improve myself shortly, but first...

Riding on my bike to work every morning is a perfect opportunity to prepare myself mentally for the upcoming day. As I slowly wake up with the wind blowing across my face, the green pastures to my left, I think about life in general and what has been happening to me recently. If it is raining (which it does most of the time) then I am distracted somewhat as I am all bundled up like a cocoon in my rain-gear.

Hard to believe that my first week at my new employer has gone by, so quickly. The first three days involved an introduction and training, whose purpose was to get familiarized with the company, its organization, policies etc. Lots of presentations, talks by the directors and managers, that kind of thing. It was also an opportunity to get to know my fellow colleagues, as well as the newcomers. My initial impressions are positive, but of course those are always superficial and based on gut-feeling. I was pleased to discover that the company was better organized and professional than I had expected. Everything was done nicely and we had an informal introduction. I had expected more junior, inexperienced folks just out of school, but there were enough older consultant like myself (though I was the oldest in the group by at least a couple of years -- but not the baldest). Seems that there is lots of room for more growing into leadership type roles, so that could be a definite possibility for me. After having survived the three days of sitting alot and listening the whole time, I talked in more detail with my new boss, the so-called "Unit Manager" of the department called Supporting Processes. The company mainly does projects in the world of e-business, and if you are more interested in a complete definition, then I refer you to a previous entry in this Blogger. My supervisor seems like an okay person, friendly enough, but also driven with enthusiasm for what he does -- though, as he admits, a bit on the workaholic side. My position has not yet crystallized, but I have the flexibility to define that myself. Right now it is not going that well in the telecom market, which means projects will more than likely be in other areas for now. In two years it could be different. A sorry twist for my career as my expertise lies in the mobile telecommunications area. Oh well. I spent the last two days of the week getting familiar with the department, where the coffee and Xerox machines are, meeting the people, looking through the company Intranet for information. Also I had to enter all my information in a knowledge database, a sort of resume made up of freehand text as well as specific keywords which can be looked up. That way they can match you better to potential customers and your own personal preferences, eg. type of work, maximum driving time, etc. But that was very boring work -- I already had alot in electronic form at home thanks to all the places I have been applying to, however it had to be translated to Dutch, yuk. In comparison to CMG which is very international, this company is geared more towards the Dutch market, but they are looking into the possibilities of expansion -- first within Europe and then worldwide. If I were to compare CMG with IQUIP, I would say that CMG did more of the technical and engineering work, say the hands and feet for installing and fine-tuning computer systems, whereas IQUIP is more of a pure advice and consultation bureau where its employees use their knowledge and specific skills creatively to help customers redefine company processes and infrastructure. Following me? During the training, alot of attention was given to customer relations, listening and understanding. So far so good I would say.

This is a message from IQUIP...hi there all you folks in the real world.

Okay, so finally after three days I decided to rough it and bike my way across the Dutch countryside to my new employer IQUIP just around the corner. Actually I had planned to cycle starting from the very first day, but as usual it has been pouring down endlessly. Thea surprised me yesterday with a fancy, sporty rain-gear so I did not have an excuse any more. Off I went, departing at exactly 8.13 for an appointment at eight-thirty. A bit longer than the so-called ten minutes I had claimed it would be. Couple of raindrops, good early morning workout, slightly sweating, wind blowing through my hair (stubbles), eighteen non-grueling minutes. Not bad. On the way back however there was alot of wind, pumping with my legs up and down, acclimating my mind to the new future ahead of me, think and thinking.

Time to change my life again, for the umpteenth time. First day on the new job. In less than one hour I am off for a three day introduction training. Shouldn't be that difficult, meet people and take it easy. I was planning to take my bike, but it is pouring down rain! So I will take the car for the short (but dry) trip. Don't want to start my first day as a wet rat -- wouldn't impress my future colleagues at all. Wish me luck.

Yesterday after four years and three months I turned my back to CMG Wireless Data Solutions and said farewell. Strange. I will not miss my work particularly, however I regret leaving many of my fine colleagues. I have learned alot at that company and worked on many challenging projects, but it was time to go. The marriage just never worked. Shaking hands and that was that. Time to go home and start a new life. I am reborn and my mind is blank again. On Monday I will begin working at IQUIP Reeuwijk which specializes in the so-called e-business. So what is e-business anway? I found the following definition on the Internet:

"E-business (electronic business), derived from such terms as "e-mail" and "e-commerce," is the conduct of business on the Internet, not only buying and selling but also servicing customers and collaborating with business partners. One of the first to use the term was IBM, when, in October, 1997, it launched a thematic campaign built around the term. Today, major corporations are rethinking their businesses in terms of the Internet and its new culture and capabilities. Companies are using the Web to buy parts and supplies from other companies, to collaborate on sales promotions, and to do joint research. Exploiting the convenience, availability, and world-wide reach of the Internet, many companies, such as Amazon.com, the book sellers, have already discovered how to use the Internet successfully."

Whatever this e-business deal is, I will be continuing in the forever-challenging world of telecom, hopefully in the arena of wireless technology which is my background and expertise. We'll just have to see. First the weekend.

Right now I am back at the office. Just a few moments to waste time blogging again. Actually I should not be doing this during work hours, but I am anyway. Today it is Thursday, meaning that I have only six more days to (try to) be productive. That's hard. In a way I feel sentimental about the surroundings, having worked at CMG Wireless Data Solutions now for nearly four and a half years. I get along well with my colleagues but not with the management. The work is interesting at the forefront of the mobile telecommunications technology, but that is not enough to keep a good man busy. New challenges are required and aggravations need to be quelled. An escape? Could be. Don't forget that wherever you go, wherever you choose to work and pursue, unfortunately you bring yourself along. On September first I will be starting at a new IT company (Dutch) called IQUIP. Good luck and see you later. Have to write up some more (boring) documents.

Just got back from Valras Plage in the wonderful world of Southern France. About 1300 kilometers non-stop all the way back to good old Gouda. That's more than 14 hours cramped in the car -- fortunately we have air-conditioning. After nine days as Beach-combers francaise at the scorching Mediterranean beachfront, we have returned with wonderfully almost black suntans. Now it is midnight and time to go to bed.

Rush, rush, rush... Here we all are getting ready for summer vacation. Tons of junk spread all over the place, a complete mess. By the end of the day everything will be packed up and put in the car. Rather than leaving at four in the morning, we decided to go for it by leaving at ten o'clock this evening! The kids are very excited. The advantages are many, quiet on the road, not so hotthe kids are sleeping (hopefully) and we will arrive by the next morning.

Before I leave for vacation I need to figure out what books I want to bring along. I always lug a pile of reading material and end up reading just a little, but you never know. Too much is better than too little, and if one book is a dissappointment then I have a bunch of others to choose from. No computer books, though I am tempted to buy a web design tutorial as I am now fixated on this web building stuff. Just fiction, to help me relax and escape from the real world called information technology. Or is it really the real world? I do not know.

I couldn't believe how quiet it was on the road. Normally it is busy and because of the daily traffic jams, it usually takes me at least an hour to drive the measly 38 kilometers. That's about 24 miles. Everyone has left en masse for summer vacation, except the Gishes. Give or take a week. Now I am work, trying to enjoy myself, looking forward to the future.

In a little over a week we will be heading down to southern France to enjoy our long-deserved three week vacation. It should be lots of fun. First a week to the Dordogne and then down to the coast to the small town called Valras Plage where we went two years ago.