Dream about Dad
Here's an interesting and slightly bizarre dream I had after my father's death a little over a week since I had returned home.
I get up in the morning and it is time to go to work. As I walk out the front door and am just about ready to get in my car to drive to work, there is my father walking down the street. I cannot believe it, because he died more than a month ago. What am I supposed to do? I have already told everyone that my father died, and how awful an experience it was for me to go through. I even took a week free from my work in order to fly to Monterey, California so I could be with him up to the very end. And now it turns out that he is not dead at all, but walking ever so healthily in front of my house. What am I going to tell everyone? They will never believe me, as this is just too bizarre to be true at all. My fellow workers and neighbors will think I was lying and never trust me again.
I still have not fully accepted that my father is no longer alive. Logically I have witnessed his last days, and the facts are hard and true. However, emotionally I still have not been able to accept this. My father still lives on in my mind, and he manifests himself ever so strongly in my dreams. Why should I then feel embarrassed towards others, being so worried that no one will believe me? It is really my inner self (ego) who cannot believe this while the subconscious is wrestling with it to force the truth to be accepted. Walking down the street in front of me, it could not be nearer than that. Driving my car comes again in the scene, that symbolic gesture that I have to go off to work (the real world) on my own. Notice how in the dream my father is distant and I do not even have the chance nor dare speak to him. It is morning and I have the whole day still ahead of me.