Sometimes when I am running, my mind runs amok and starts thinking up the weirdest things. Maybe it has to do with an overdose of endorphins or a lack of oxygen or a combination of other physiological changes to my body, I don't know.
This afternoon I kind of lost touch with the world around me, running all alone in that vast and expansive countryside, flat as far as the eye could see, way off over there into nowhere which was the horizon. And in a flash I thought of something which seemed like a wonderful idea at the time, but later upon deeper reflection was in fact a disturbing thought. How could I think that?
--- Suppose I ran as hard as I could until I got a heart-attack and died, right then and there. Then I would be lying here in the middle of nowhere lost as an unknown being and to be engulfed by nature, that movement of nature which continues unabated as if nothing can change it. ---
Everyone would be rid of me. It would be the ultimate escape. All would be gone and I would be free at last. The ultimate freedom.
Then my last thoughts would change things, but too late. They would be that I should have never thought of that in the first place. Stupid. I would regret it, wishing that I had never wished it to happen at all. Please do not let me die here in the middle of nowhere, forgive me. Stupid me.
When I crossed the bridge, that is about the usual point when I awake from my running reverie and start thinking normal thoughts again.
Crazy world we live in isn't it?