This time when she woke up, she was not quite sure where she was, where she had been, nor from where she was coming. There is that moment of acclimation which gives the sleeper just enough time to come back, to reiterate, to reshuffle the confusion and try to make sense of it all. Most of the pieces fall together, but some do not. When her thoughts crystallized and finally became clear, she realized that she had been away again. It had happened for the third time that day, this last week with an increased frequency that was worrying her. Faster and faster like a blur appearing, that is what it seemed like. A little bit like dying a little again, and then at the very last minute being allowed to come back again. She found it confusing and did not dare tell anyone else about it. Just look at where she was at the moment! The last time she had confided this secret information, they just laughed and laughed and finally locked her up. At least they "tried" to lock her up. Surely it is a crazy world in which we live, but it was never meant to be like this, she thought and could not understand. The truth of the matter was that these excursions into the unknown did not happen during her sleep, that is not at night while she was lying in bed in deep slumber. No, they occurred completely randomly during the day, and only when it was light. Not even shadows were allowed. At the breakfast table, walking to school, running on the playground, sitting in front of the television, away from the shadows of the trees, not behind the lamp where there was no light. Whatever, so this is how it happened, she would think. Could not put it into words. Her physical body would just continue like an automated being while her mind went off elsewhere, some other doorway unseen but off to the side. The split was painless, like two clouds of nothingness blowing apart by a gentle breeze which forked. Time branched and she went this way while her body went that way. Out of the body to who knows where. This was not the usual day-dreaming episodes which are so typical of a young child of her age, bored in the classroom or just fantasizing games. It was something more serious, something much more magnificent than she could possibly explain. An amazing event, perhaps even a miracle. Often during the first few moments after the gentle split, there was a soft flash of electricity or the sound of static, like dry paper crackling. These were the warning signs, signals which she knew and she was always prepared to accept. Acceptance was the key, pure acceptance and surrender. Off she went, first to the side, then up high and then whisked away for good. Timelessness caught in the air, frozen ice cubes left behind on the table next to her chair. The chair creaked as that excess weight was lifted and the body stayed seated there. During the initial flight, she was always fully conscious, but when it was all over there was no recall at all. Just the feeling, an acute awareness of what had happened, but clearer than any physical thought could re-enact. At least not in the logical way where things make sense, and that is what got her locked up in the first place. They would never understand. And that was where she was now, the locked place of the now. She has been away again, so they were in the end unable to lock her up. Not even locked up in her body. Time crackled and then the flash and then the cycle continued. This time she decided that she would not come back. Not time to die but to live on and on. Not bad for an eight year old girl they would have to admit was right.
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Graduated from Stanford 6-5-1979 ago.
Kiffin Rockwell was shot down and killed 9-23-1916 ago.
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My father passed away 10-20-2000 ago.
First met Thea in Balestrand, Norway 6-14-1980 ago.