Had that weird concentration problem again today. It seems to be getting worse at times and it is worrying me somewhat. What happens is this: when I try to read a book, take part in a conversation, watch a video on the television, listen to a presentation, or even explain things myself at a meeting, my mind wanders so badly that I completely lose track of what I am doing. I fail to follow the gist of a discussion or forget what I was doing. Like time spinning away and not realizing it. This feeling reminds me alot of how I used to daydream when I was a child sitting in class, but it is much worse. Getting worse by the week. A normal daydream you can overcome by trying deliberately to chase it away through the extra efforts of concentration. However, now no matter how hard I try to focus myself this does not help either. In fact, if out of desperation I try too hard, then the flow of concentration just slips away even faster. This leads to panic and the fear that I will not understand what people are saying which compounds the obstacle worse than it should be. Is this psychological or is there some other source of this mental setback?
Later on in the day I saw two magnificent swans perched on the grass next to the water. Behind them and in a perfect semi-circle were their five offspring, no longer little chicks but grown adolescent swans with grayish feathers slowly turning to white like their parents. Renewed life coming into form ready to replace those who had created them and some day would be no more. This reminded me alot of how the weird concentration problem comes into being and takes gentle control without me realizing it.