I have those periods in my life where I have this itchy feeling that I am only blowing the little money I have down a bottomless pit if you know what I mean. Down, down, down the bottomless pit. This year we have rebuilt and added a new room, are having the outside of the house repainted in white and off white, just bought all the kids a new collection of summer attire, had modern art posters framed in museum glass (I got sucked into that one by the sweet talking art expert lady working on my so-called intellectual weaknesses), had the car checked up on and repaired, paid the yearly taxes (more than 50% of my salary), bought a new home computer, bought the necessary travel accessories etc. for the upcoming trip to California in August, took the family out to a Chinese restaurant (The Red Garden) to celebrate Thea getting the new job, and on and on and on ad infinitum. How is this possible? Will I ever be able to balance my budget at the end of the year? How about this week? Should I focus on a thriftier attitude and focus on minimal spending only at the special sales in the cheapest joints? I found myself getting overly concerned today while in town. I took Maarten to share a special father-and-son time together. Poor Maarten wanted an ice-cream cone this afternoon, but I said no. Mean father, but that is the way it is, has to be. Not because I was worried I would spoil him, he almost never asks for things, anything, and certainly he deserved some kind of treat and/or reward for having been so patient with me in town looking everywhere for the discounted offers (never cheap enough and never good enough at the same time). What the heck, I thought. I gave in to his innocent and sweet voice, bought him that ice cream cone, and a big fat bag of peanut M&M's, and that can of Coke. Mere pittances compared with the other financial burdens in life, a few peanuts. Ideas are what make you the way you are. Are they truly burdens or just an excuse to waste your life away worrying for nothing? Worrying about ideas about ideas about worrying (circle of thought). No bottomless pit for me, so let's go on through the rest of the weekend and see what happens, okay? By being poorer one has the urge to splurge. By being not poor one thinks happiness comes with euros and dollars and whatever other form of currency. That is not true. There are more euros coming so the more the better, or so they think nowadays. The truth of the matter is that the more the worse the less the better and the middle path the best, if you know what I mean. Not too much and not too little.