Another bizarre dream

| Dreams | 2 Comments

I had another bizarre dream last night. This dream was more than likely triggered subconsciously by an email from my mother in which she discussed some entries my father had written in his war diary. This is how the dream went, or at least the parts I can still remember while in this (more limited) awakened state:

"My father is about to die and he is lying in bed in my old bedroom where I grew up. He does not look as bad as when I really saw him during those final days on his death bed last year. His face is more similar to when I last visited two years ago. In tears and sobbing, my poor father confesses to me that all those stories he told me about his war experiences are fabricated, that he had been lying to me. He had never been in the Pacific during WWII on the USS Meade, all of it having been an elaborate fabrication. Why? Because he had wanted so dearly to fullfill his image to me as a father figure hero personality. In the dream, I was not only shocked but very very upset. However, because he is dying and it is probably the last time I will see him, I cover up my distress, comforting him that it does not really matter. I am pleased he has confessed this to me and he should feel better about releasing all these pent-up guilt feelings. At least we will be able to depart by having been cleansed from the past."

What does this all mean? Not that I have never trusted my father or suspected him of lying. I think this dream represents a subconscious manifestation of the gut-feeling I still have: that while he is logically no longer present in any physical sense, I still have not completely accepted it on an emotional level. Almost, but not yet completely. That is the lie within me which is slowly fading away, and the dream is a tool to help me deal with it better.

2 Comments

'..I was not only shocked but very very upset..'
- this may indicate your deep repressed state of emotion that you couldn't express at the time?
'...feel better about releasing all these pent-up guilt feelings....'
- you may have felt some guilt? about something?
'...At least we will be able to depart by having been cleansed from the past...'
as you suggest I think this may be the main thing about this dream quite a while after the death of your father - the processing has happened in the background while life goes on?
resolution - a part of you ? the child within ? could not come to terms with his death - the part of you that creates fabrications?
we all live into our own stories! me included!
this can be called vision and allows us to becreative and live fulfilling lives but if denied or in the realm of the unknown it is called illusion?
Cheers,
Bob.

I came across your blog whilst looking at the MT site I have an interest in dreams and am currently studying hypnotherapy as an adjunct to my work as a dentist in Australia.

Hypnotherapy and dentistry, that's an unusual but interesting combination. I will try to answer your questions.

1) this may indicate your deep repressed state of emotion that you couldn't express at the time? Probably. 2) you may have felt some guilt? Yes, that's it exactly. 3) about something? Not being able to talk with him one last time. 4) the processing has happened in the background while life goes on? Sure, although it gets less with the passing of time, it never quite goes away completely. 5) resolution - a part of you? Yes. 6) the child within? Yes, very much so. The child within takes over alot of the time. 7) the part of you that creates fabrications? I would rather refer to these as creative ways to release energy, "fabrications" sounds too negative. Thanks alot for the interesting insights, Bob.

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This personal weblog was started way back on July 21, 2001 which means that it is 7-21-2001 old.

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Graduated from Stanford 6-5-1979 ago.

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